Of Words To Kanda Revised
by HjnxKRP
Summary: A revised version of my (then called) "Dear Kanda" which is now under the name of "Of Words To Kanda". I suggest reading that first, then this if you want to see the difference (due to deadlines, I was unable to check the last couple of "chapters" that much, but they should be fine)


"Kanda Yuu, can you come to my office please? I have news about Allen. Also, it might also be best if Leenalee, Krory, Miranda, Timothy, and Lavi come to my office as soon as possible too." My head jerked up when I heard the announcement. It had been after all, roughly a month since Baka-moyashi went missing.

Ever since he went to confront the Noah to give us enough time to escape the building we had just moved into after the fall of the old one. Everyone had cried out in protest and pleaded him to stay with them and get on one of the boats so that they could escape together, but all he said that he needed to stay since he would take up to much space. He might have had lived though, however I know that he could not have possibly lived without medical treatment with his wound that deep. Maybe he knew that and that is why he went back inside the collapsing building. No one could live after being impaled by a gigantic broad sword and thrown around like a rag doll for hours. He's only human after, Allen isn't an invincible force that everyone makes him out to be. Leenalee cried when he turned towards us smiled, and walked towards the crumbling building that had served as our home and disappeared as a cloud of smoke and dust rang fourth.

I got up from my table and stormed off to Komui's death trap of an office, and when I got there I noticed a sleek black coffin with white roses and an exorcist's cross on top of it. Seeing it I knew what became of the Moyashi.

"So the Moyashi Died?" I looked over to the people that had arrived to the office before me and saw tears streaming down their cheeks and red puffy eyes as they were reading the letters that they were holding

"Kanda, this letter is for you." Komui sullenly and quietly handed me a lavishly decorated letter that had the white cross rose symbol on the back of it. On the front it said:

~To Kanda

From Allen

I carefully ripped it open and took out the letter and a picture, unfolding the letter I started to read its contents.

 _ **Dear Kanda;**_

 _Kanda, I am sure that you are wondering why I wrote this letter to you . . . I don't know either to tell you the truth. You stand alone, so why I am doing this is out of question. I just wanted to let you know that I think you are a big jerk, but you have a wonderful side that everyone knows about, but it's just that you refuse to acknowledge it so they do not say a thing about it. I know that you know about that side too. And most people just look at you and say;_

 _'"Oh, look at that girly-boy over there!"' And then get Mugen shoved down their throats because they pissed off a crazy-sword-weilding-maniac-that-gets-pissed-off-from-just-one-thing-or-word-samurai, but you never harm anyone. Let me rephrase that, you never harm anyone majorly._

 _Oh I wish I could tell you that I love you again. I am such a coward; I can't even look at you in the face and tell you that I am writing this letter for the instance that I die. Hence when I die Komui will give this letter to you. I know that I am going to die soon, either by the Earl or by Central. While there is a chance that I will live to see the end of this damn "Holy War" because no one should have to suffer the way all of those people and souls have to, I want you to live your life to the fullest Kanda._

 _I want to tell you so many things, how much I am in pain, how much I feel deserted, how much sanity I have left. You were the only person that turned all of those things the other way around. My pain into laughter, my desertion into family, my sparse sanity into overflowing sanity! I never want to see you cry, laugh, smile, have fun! Make friends! Your life is limited so do what you can to make a mark on the world when you might never have the chance to again! Never forget your friends, never forget your family, and never, ever, forget your goal! It may not seem like it but you cause everyone to smile and laugh! You help people BE people! I think that if it weren't for you, I might have stayed behind my mask every time and never show myself! I bet you might be thinking;_

 _"Why is this Baka Moyashi lecturing me about life?" or something like that right? Probably. Though I want you to stay strong and have unwavering hope and faith in those around you. They have faith and hope in you to! Promise me this, move on when I die, if you have are having troubles, I will always be with you! I will be in your heart and memories! Everyone will remember me, because they trusted me, and I trusted them, and most of all, I love you! Thinking about it wants me to make me laugh if I was not writing my final and only letter to you._

 _Like I said earlier, I love you. The thing that makes me drawn to you is your coldness and untapped, and rarely shown, love. You were the only one that did make a big fuss about everything about me and ignored me. I miss you already Kanda. I always wanted to be near you, to be WITH you. I love you with all of my heart. So if you love me back, can you promise me several things?_

 _Never Forget Your Comrades_

 _Live Strong, And Happily_

 _Live For Your Friends, Don't Lay Waste Your Life For Them_

 _Care For Those That Care For You Or Need Care_

 _Don't Kill Anyone In Spite_

 _Keep Sight Of Your Goal Till Your Last Breath, Or You Complete It_

 _Never Stop Walking, Keep Moving Forward_

 _Did you get all of that Kanda? NEVER break any of these! Now, I hope that you got all of that, I think it is all right to tell you about my child hood life. I was abandoned as a new-born baby, because of my left arm. Of course years later, I will thank it for giving me the life and fiends that I had gotten to know. I was found by a nun and they took me to their orphanage and nursed me until I could take care of myself, and then kicked me out after several years of abuse or so. Finding myself in the streets of London, I took up residence in an old, grimy, dark alley way near the market stalls where I get my food._

 _I learned taking food from stalls was the best way to get a full belly after a couple of days on the street, though most of the attempts my food was stolen from other homeless people (they were mostly older kids than me), when they found food on me. The adults were nicer than the kids until they saw my arm. After a while the store clerks found out I was the one stealing the food and called some constables on me. Running; I ran into a high-top tent. This is where I meet Cosmio. Cosmio had hidden me after he made me promise that I would never tell what he will do in the future because if I don't, he will kick me out of the circus, because I will get free food and a bed, and I wanted to be in it for the free food. Without knowing it, I put myself on the track that will leave me more bitter, rude, and stuck up than you are. Surprising, yes I know, but this is true._

 _Every night he would come to me and beat me up until I looked like raw ground beef. One night a weird and crazy clown named Mana Walker came towards Cosmio and rescued me from that devil's grasp. After that he took me in and treated my injuries. I felt like I was saved from the depths hell its self, even though I was less than adamant about letting some random stranger getting into my personal space and treat my injures for me. A few nights after that Cosmio killed Allen, Mana's dog. After a whole scene that confirmed that Mana was crazy (I don't care what you think, hanging yourself for a joke is not funny!), he adopted me on December Twenty-fifth, and named me Allen, saying something about anyone that was going to be in his heart shall be known as Allen. I don't really know whether or not it was because he was just in shock from losing his dog, or the fact he actually meant it. I still do not know today. I can only hope that Mana wasn't crazy enough to name me after a dead dog._

 _So we spent the next few years wandering around England, and he spent the years teaching me how to use my left hand better, because back then it was paralyzed. Then when it came to my 'fourth birthday' Mana and I found ourselves in London again. I was walking a little ahead of Mana when we were crossing a street and an out of control dog cart made its way towards me. Seeing what could happen Mana . . . . he jumped, and pushed me out of the way . . . Mana died after saying:_

 _"Never stop walking, keep moving forward."_

 _After that . . . well you already know what happens after that. Well that was my brief explanation of my life. I will let your attention go elsewhere now, Kanda. Keep Walking Towards Your Dreams, And Never Look Back, Live, Laugh, Smile, Belong, Love, And Be Loved, Never Give In To Guilt, Keep Strong, And Most Of All, Keep Moving Till You Die!_

 _ **~Allen Walker, Your Sadly Departed Lover**_

I fall to my knees and tears escape as the damnable paper is crumpled in my hands.

"I will keep the promise, Allen. I will live, smile, laugh, love, and never stop walking until I die." With that I left the bewildered faces, un-crumbled the paper, and determinedly stalked to my room and stared at the ceiling, letting the past hour's events steep into my mind. Hoping that it was all just a dream, and that Allen was playing a sick joke to play on me so I could chase him around with Mugen, and spit out empty death threats towards the Baka Moyashi. I turned over in my bed and took out the picture that I had put in my pocket and looked. The picture had Allen looking at the camera, smiling with food residue all over his face, making a peace sign as he was reaching over to steal my food. I was sitting on the bench reaching for Mugen to chop off his hair, yelling at him that he has his own food to eat, a whole fucking mountain of food to eat.

That day never came, as I saw that his mountain of food never came towards a table with his stupid and smug smiling face, the face I hate oh-so much, yet love with my all of my heart. I did keep true to his words, after that I smiled (smirked), laughed (growled), loved (glared), gave death threats, always completed my goals, and always fought against my leaders about why we should get rid of the remaining Akuma. I walked until I fell, but got up with the image of Allen Walker flashed in my mind telling me that I am weak and that I have to get up to free the Akuma's souls. I kept the adorable Moyashi in my heart, knowing he was with me even if it was just an illusion. Just like the flowers.

. . .

Shuffling, I slowly walked towards Komui's office. I hate that place, it stinks and it is covered in papers, unknown grime, and weird glowing goop that I found once. I almost died in there once trying to find a report. Of course it was in the middle of night, since the document I was looking for was about stuff that a top secret, huh . . . I forgot what I was even searching for then. When I entered, I noticed a black box. I thought the Order burnt those in large groups, was this one a left over? Seeing that all of the other people that crazy-Komui had called, I assume that I am the last one to arrive. I shook that thought out of my head and grabbed a letter from Komui's grasp. Ignoring the fact that he was looking at the box with a strained and hollow look. Upon opening it I found that it was written in very neat handwriting, all of it was in cursive and was very steady, like it was practiced a lot to get it this neat. Looking around for answers I saw that Leenalee was crying with Lavi was looking her way, and well . . . Kanda . . . well he was reading whatever was on the paper he was clutching. Seeing that I will get no answers, I turned my back to the paper and started to read it.

 _ **~Dear Timothy**_

 _How are you doing Timothy? Right now I am doing great, in case you do not know who is writing this, it is me Allen Walker! I can't wait to see the look on your face! Do you remember the time that your clothes disappeared and you had to walk around the Order naked? I am sure you do, since I am the one that stole your clothes! Be hold the clothes thief, for he has shown himself, as dun, dun, dun! Allen Walker! Though, of course the person that you SHOULD yell at is Lavi, I only picked the lock so that he could steal your clothes, though you could bring up Lenalee whenever you can, and see if he turns bright red like a tomato! Don't ask about why I know how to lock pick, it is an 'untouchable' subject I guess, something about tainting children's minds into doing crime or something like that, though I don't really see the point because you stole for you orphanage that you lived in yes? Please don't let me become like my teacher!_

 _Anyway, how is your school work going? How are you liking your classes? They must be really boring, though, but what can I say? I don't know how to write and I just had Komui teach me how to write the letters, not read them! Actually right now I'm just copying what Komui has written down . . . even this sentence. Well, of you are having a problem with your homework go to Leenalee, Lavi, or Miranda, I might not be able to help you all the time for school work that much anymore, even if it was really bad already!_

 _If you are reading this letter then that means that you won't see me around the Order anymore. It also means that I have found a nice place where people will no longer be scared of me or be mean to me anymore, and where I can find peace. You too will come to this place as well, who knows maybe you will see me! Well, the thing is, I will be gone for a VERY long time, so long in fact, that I won't be able to come home again because I'm on a very important mission right now! Shush, only Komui and you know about the mission now, and I need you to keep quiet about it because then the others will get jealous! Do not try to look for me, please, it would be a waste of time, time that you could use to have a nice, happy life! If you ask my opinion, I could say that I am on a mission, a mission, which I cannot return from to see everyone. Past that point, I will say to you, I have sinned, I have sinned greatly. I have committed the greatest taboo that you can, I had made an Akuma, I had then before that stolen, pick pocketed, lock picked, hurt, as well as got money from cheating by playing poker, though I had a VERY good reason for that though. I do not want to hear word that you did that you did any of that, I will be heartbroken if you did so! I should also tell you that you should do not need to know the truth until you think you are ready to know about those black boxes that the Order had burnt. So please, do not ask until, at least, this 'Holy War' is done, or wait a few years from now, until you are around thirteen I guess. I have to go now, I have to leave for a mission with baKanda now! I hope that you live a long and fruitful life! Goodbye Forever, Timothy Hearst!_

 _ **~Allen Walker, The One Who Walks Alone**_

I sighed and put the letter in my pocket after folding it along the lines where it was already folded. Years later, I found out what Allen had meant, the reason why he said he was on a long mission was because he was dead, and that was another reason why he said that he was not going to come home ever again. Growing up, I had come to miss him, though I did laugh my head off when I messed with Lavi, like Allen said I should. Leenalee had grown quiet for a while when he died, though when she started to see Lavi, she got happier.

. . .

I now hate the Order for all that they made us go through, since I was told that when we finished up the 'Clean up' or 'Mop up' or what we exorcists call it 'Slaughter', since we did not like killing the now owner-less machines right now. Though the 'Official Nick-Name' is Bread* for short, though its real name is P.A.N- Purification of the Akuma and Noah. It is hard to do it though, the Akuma don't even fight back, which is why some people are now calling it a slaughter instead of Bread. Starting tomorrow, the exorcists will be not cause more pain and death, even if it is artificial, as long as we live, unless the Earl rises again. We Are Not Tools! We. Are. Not. Going. To. Spill. Any. More. Blood. Starting. NOW.

*Pan in Japanese means bread, hence why I made them, the ones who aren't Exorcists, Scientists, or Finders, say its nick-name is Bread. I thought of many other stuff first like, The End Of World Plan of Purification; E.W.P.P and, Final Act of Invocation of Innocence in War; F.A.I.I.W, and the like.

. . .

I looked up from my book just as Jiji Panda kicked me in the head.

"Lavi, Komui just called for you, it is about Allen."

"WHAT REALLY? WHY DIDN'T YOU TELL ME EARLIER!?" Standing up, I ran out of the library, running towards Komui's office, I saw that Leenalee was looking at her brother nervously and there was a magnificent black coffin covered with the white roses, and the white rose cross blanket they give to those who died in battle, except it was more beautiful and more gracefully carved. I looked at it once and knew what had happened, Allen died protecting us.

"Lavi, this letter is for you, Allen told me too give it to you if he died. We had confirmed that Allen had died when we went in search for him." Komui handed me a letter that had my name sprawled on it. Opening it I found that it was in Old English cursive. He must want me to try to read this, what is he Bookman?

 _ **Dear Lavi**_

 _Lavi, I want you to know that I never felt mad about the time that you ate my Mitarashi Dongo . . . maybe. I want you to know that I forgive for whatever you do, except when it comes to my food, but even then I might forgive you as who can't stay mad at a cute little red-head-bunny-pirate-wanna-be?_

 _Now, I will ask then you, do you forgive me? If you do, I feel happy, like a weight was lifted off of my chest. If you didn't, well I can't do a thing about that if I am dead, right? So then . . . this will be a one-sided conversation, from the past to the future, but that does not matter right? What I want to ask you is, do you love Leenalee? I think that you do, Lavi. Who knows, maybe Komui will let you date her if you ask her opinion, he just might! I don't know and I might be imagining it but, I think she likes you to! So go ahead and ask her if she likes you! Don't wait until she is about to be taken, get her love while you can! Well, enough of that (for fear of embarrassing myself as much as I have already talking about your crush life), what do you think about Kanda? Do you think that he will be mad when I die saying something like 'Damn you Baka Moyashi for dying on us!' and if I am wrong, then you can have my already eaten Mitarashi Dongo! Though what I had written might make him do the opposite, who knows right?_

 _Thinking about that fact when I will die or when someone I know could die soon makes me depressed just thinking about it, even if it had me die for the greater good, then I will be happy to die for everyone because then no one would die in this war! I can only hope that you guys will never have to read these letters knowing that I would have to die for you to read these letters, and I would not be able to see your smiling faces (scowling for baKanda) ever again. I would hope that you guys never wrote letters like this, even though I am doing it right now!_

 _It hurts having to tell your last goodbyes in a letter because you can never know when you are going to die and part with those you love, and are your friends and family. Lavi what I guess what I wanted to tell you for this whole letter is to not be afraid ,and when you have to take a chance take it and never give it up, no matter what happens. EVER._

 _As well as to choose who you will only 'STRIKE' for again, hopefully (in my opinion) Leenalee. She is nice and quiet, but scary and strong willed when it comes down to it. But Kanda is off limits, my Kanda, mine. YOU NO HAVE KANDA! *Ahum* Back to topic, I just want you to stop chasing after woman that you know that you will have no chance in getting, you remind me my master sometimes because of that. That is what I wanted to tell you I guess also, try to do your training as a Bookman, I have had worse than you do when I was under Master Cross's apprenticeship trust me, I had worse. Staying in a library all day won't kill you. Playing poker with revengeful gangsters is actually life threatening. Well, I hope that you get to become a Bookman, and get it on with Leenalee (don't tell Komui that I wrote that, please? He'd KILL me!). That's a promise and I intend on keeping that one to, oh yeah, by the way the next time we see each other, I will ask if you got it on with her! Well, Bye Lavi! I am so hungry right now, sitting for hours on end writing down letters upon letter until you get the perfect one is a hard chore to do( especially if you don't know how to write) ad it does not bode well for my stomach. Bye, See You Next Time! Keep that promise for me Lavi!_

 _ **~Allen Walker, The One Who Walks Alone**_

Staring at the last thing Allen had written, '~Allen Walker, The one who walks alone' thinking of the infinite possibilities that surround that one phrase. I looked up towards Leenalee and saw her crying as she read the letter. Kanda just had a meltdown, crying, then went stomping off to his room I suppose. Allen was right, I did love Leenalee, but did she love me? If Allen could tell I loved her, then could he tell she loved me? I just stood there baffled, wondering how Allen knew that I loved her. Why would he write something so silly like that anyway? I think I will try and to think it off when I am doing Bookman homework, hahaha wow that was not funny at all, maybe he left a message for me that is hidden or something? I waited for everyone to leave, then I asked Komui if it is okay if I can date Leenalee.

"NEVER!" was his answer, and for that, I got a Komurin Special XIV on my tail.

"I give, I give, I GIVE!" I ended up running all night, causing many people to give me pitiful looks, especially the science department, because even they don't know what the HELL Komui did to make so durable. '"I HATE HIM, I HATE HIM, I HATE HIM, I HATE HIM, III HHHHHHAAAATTTTTTEEEEE HHHHHHIIIIIIIIIMMMMMMM!" I'm sure my yelling and screaming woke up half the world. And I wasn't too far off from what the newspaper had in it the next morning. Oh how I will savor the o so sweet revenge, I can't wait to TORTURE him, did I say Torture? I meant KILL HIM! Hopefully Lenalady will see the pain I am in and rescue me from this robot! She's the female knight, and I'm the male princesses!

. . .

"Leenalee! Don't go near those disgusting Octopuses! I am the only one you need!" Nii-san clung to my legs, wiping his tear-filled face up and down and shook his head vigorously.

"Nii-san, GET OFF!" I kicked on the side of his head and hid my embarrassment on my face by putting my bangs in front of my face. After calming down, I looked up and nurtured Nii-san's bleeding temple and put a band-aid over his bruised bump as he was crying on his desk with his face on the wood (papers) saying something like "My beautiful baby sister hates me! What am I going to do now?". Something caught my eye as I bent down to comfort him. They were letters. One of them was lavishly decorated with a white rose cross and the rest were decorated with roses. There is, in all, 6. When I turned one over I saw words that was written in a fancy cursive. Hearing a groan, I looked at Nii-san.

"Leenalee that is the reason why I called you here, those are letters that Allen told me to give to you if he dies, and we have confirmed his death. His body is currently in the coffin that you see over there, if you want to see him for one last time you can." I stared at Nii-san.

"What do you mean Nii-san?"

"Exactly what I mean, we found Allen's body. I'm going to call everyone hear so that they can read the letters that Allen gave to me beforehand a couple months back."

"Which one is mine?"

"Ah, I think it is this one is your's Leenalee. Yeah it is this one. If you want you can read it now."

"No I'll wait for the others to come." I walked over to the left corner behind Nii-san's desk and stood there. A couple of minutes after Nii-san made the announcement, Kanda, the second to last person, entered Nii-san's office room. I wasn't paying attention because that is when I had decided to open the letter that Allen had written me.

 _ **Dear Leenalee;**_

 _Leenalee don't worry if I die in battle, to tell you the truth I'm scared that I might die before I will be able to say good bye properly. I want to stay with you guys until this is 'war' is finished, but I doubt that will ever happen. I just want to tell you this; try to keep Kanda from killing Lavi when Lavi calls him names. Also try to find a very good friend like Lavi, and have a relationship that is agreeable by your brother. I can't really tell you much besides the fact that I hope that you do not try to over-exert yourself when you battle. Try not to get yourself injured when you are in battle, please! I don't want to see you hurt, even if I am dead, it still would pain my ghost heart. Live on, that is what I want you to do Leenalee, live on, and find happiness with a loved one or your family, help bring happiness to others, help ease that infectious pain that resides everyone's heart, brighten the day with your smiles, and try to bring as less victims to Mugen as much as possible! If I ever see you again, I better see you with a smile on your face, or I'll be greatly disappointed in you!_

 _Wow, writing this letter to you and everyone else is making me hungry, tired, sad, and hungry. Mostly hungry. Well I hope that you try to do all of that, if it is too much of a burden and you are stressed you can stop and take a breather. Though, promise me this, never look into the past and mourn for those who have died, be glad for their lives and the time they have walked this land, and let them live on in your heart. That is about what I have as much to tell you really, just don't try to put guilt on yourself if someone gets hurt, no one would ever think that way, or I will come back and haunt them! Mwahahaha not really though, I doubt that I would ever bring myself to do that. This is a final Good bye, Leenalee. I will wait for you and everyone else forever if I have to. I will if I have to._

 _Good Bye Leenalee_

 _ **~Allen Walker, The One Who Walks Alone**_

I looked up after I finished finding that Kanda was gone after I re-read it a couple of times over. Standing up from my spot that I had fallen into at one point, I walked out of the room and after out of hearing and sight from the rest I started to cry and ran to my bedroom and took a nice, long shower to have an excuse as to why my eyes are red. Afterwards I went down towards where Allen's body is laying, planning to fall asleep next to him, to be with him before he will be gone forever. I'm beginning to think that Allen knows who is interested in who. Except if he is in the equation of course.

. . .

I lazily put my spoon down when I had heard that I had been called to that 'Office', it was not that I hate Allen, I would have had been there in a split second, if it was not the day I had killed Eliade. Now today might be the day where I lost both of my dear friends. None the less I got up from my meal, walked out of the cafeteria, and wondered towards the place that is called Komui's Office. Upon opening the door I had found that Leenalee was trying to not to go towards a polished black coffin. Oh . . . I always had such bad luck, now on this day I had killed Eliade, and was notified of the death of my friend Allen Walker, has been confirmed. When everyone else had gathered, Komui handed out letters, and upon receiving mine, I opened it.

 _ **Dear Krory**_

 _Hey Krory! How are you doing? I guess you can't really tell me right now can you? Though I think might know what you feel like right now . . . so then. I have been wondering, you know, when we had first meet there were your flowers that were in your garden. You know, the ones that had almost eaten Lavi and I? Yeah those ones, I was thinking over on how they did not try to eat you if you did not say 'I Love You!' to them all the time to take care of them. Not only that, but how come you did not try to eat Eliade, even though you tried to kill all the Akuma in the Village? I know that you told us how you two meet, but I was just thinking, why did you not try to kill her afterwards? If so, then how did you keep your innocence in check so that you would not kill her?_

 _Sorry, I am just asking pointless questions, where I will never be able to hear the answers to. Though, I am still curious about that. Never mind that! Sorry if I had dampened your mood Krory if I had brought back bad memories. Now what I wonder, is, did you guys kiss? If so, then how did feel? Kissing an Akuma, and did it feel weird? I wonder if her lips felt like any other person's lips though. But who knows right? I don't think I would ever be able to bring myself to kiss an Akuma, simply because my eye would always be activated for as long as it was there and having to fight the urge to kill it._

 _Since when did it become such a weird one-sided conversation? I don't know. All I am doing right now is just letting my thoughts be written onto a piece of paper! Though, I can understand if you are mad at me right now since I had brought up Eliade in such a weird way. Surprising Lavi said that he wanted to know and when he stated why (and in my point of view) it was very stupid. He wanted to know so that he could write in down for future references, most likely to pick up Akuma that meet his standards. I would not be surprised if it was used to pick up any 'Strike!' at all . . . I do fear for his sanity sometimes. I truly do._

 _Although, your case was different, you knew nothing about the war, so thus, you feel in love with her right? Who knows, maybe you will find you next soul-mate, hopefully she or he, will not be an Akuma this time. Anyways, I think I should stop intruding in your business, and stop here, in case you get mad at me, you know that I hate seeing you mad. Aww, it is already morning? Does that mean I spent the WHOLE NIGHT WRITING?! I am going to be so tried for the day . . . maybe I can sneak off to the Library and sleep there so I won't be chased be Komui's crazy robots, and have to wear an octopus hat? Speaking of which, I still have to pay him back for that. *Cue Evil Laughter and Black Allen*. So that means I have a long day. Goal: Find and Exterminate Komui Lee; Then Eat; Take a Nap; Eat; Kill Komui Again; Eat; Then Bed. So as you can tell I have to go on my quest now. See you soon Krory!_

 _ **~Allen Walker, The One Who Walks Alone**_

I noticed that there were some old tear stains on the paper. I stared at the stains for a while then decided that now was not the time to investigate about it and went to my room, forgetting all about my food. The next day, I wrote a letter to Allen that was filled with the answers he had asked for, and explaining what had been transpiring around the Order lately. Finishing it, I walked towards Allen's grave and set down the letter, and walked towards the Order.

"Good night forever, Allen Walker, my dear friend."

. . .

"I am so sorry! I will clean this up right away!" I had bumped into a Finder that was carrying a pile of papers in her hand.

"No, need to worry about that, Miranda-sama. Anyways, don't you need to go to Komui-san's office?" She was right. I had heard on the speakers that they have news about Allen-kun.

"Yes, you are quite right, but are you sure that it is okay for me not to help?" She gave me a brisk nod to show as a yes, bowing curtly, I hurried to Komui's office. Coming in, I walked towards Komui's desk out of breath, he handed me a letter after Kanda, who had arrived a while after me, then Lavi, and Timothy. I looked at him, confused. Komui gave me a brisk, sad nod mentioning me to open the letter. I did as I was supposed to.

 _ **Dear Miranda**_

 _It must be depressing to read this letter. Say Miranda, if you are crying stop. You don't need to cry, you know that everyone has to meet the door of death at some point right? It just so happened that it turned out to be my turn . . . that's all! So then . . . I just want you to know that whatever you do, you will all ways have room in my heart, just like everybody else, and if there will be more people I think I can create more room, don't you think so to? Miranda, you do have to remember that everybody is glad that you are here, unlike a certain someone. All you have to do is get out of your shell more, enjoy a life of happiness, you don't wait for one, you make it! You may be clumsy yes, but you are nice! So nice in fact, that I think that no one can stay mad at you for long, even people like Kanda! So no matter what, uplift the world with your adorable, clumsy self, and make the world a happy place! Yes, there will be obstacles ahead, but that is what makes it a goal! If you can't overcome an obstacle, then you just have to go outside of your limits! If you do that then you can complete your goal, it does not matter if your body is dead and unresponsive, you can will your body to fight outside of your limits! Do not stop until you finish! Move forward towards what you think is right, and fight against what you think is wrong! Keep strong, always move forward, and keep those close to you, with you in your heart to drive you to win! With your help I have lived against the odds when I should have died! Do not mourn over my death, move onward, and greet those that are alive! There is no need to mourn for those who have died for everyone will die and will stay alive in people's hearts as their friends and families live on. There is no such thing as a permanent death Miranda. Everyone will carry a memory of those close to them, and tell their children or friends, and so on and so on. Do you see now Miranda? That is the reason why I do not want you to mourn for me, cry for those who need to be cried for when they are alive! Crying for the dead has no use at all as it may lead you to more death and tragedies. So no matter what, do not cry for me, turn your attention towards those who need it, and Keep Going Forwards No Matter What. Look towards the future and keep the past with you, because then, the dead will never truly live again. If someone is crying, smile, and cheer them up. Don't take one life for granted when it's time is up, move onwards, towards the others, and make more good memories with them, for they might be next._

 _Bye Miranda_

 _ **~Allen Walker, The One Who Walks Alone**_

I stood there, crying. Allen was right, I have to save my tears for those who are alive. Do not mourn for those who a dead, and love and embrace those precious to you even more so, since it might be there turn next. Slipping out of the stuffy, incident to happen, room, I wiped my tears off my face and looked out of the window towards to sunset.

"What a beautiful color of red, strange it looks like Allen's scar, could the sun it's self be mourning his lose? Oh, rain? It is funny that it is coming from the tear shaped cloud!"

The universe is a truly wonderful place, the sun makes the most beautiful sunset, earth created a crisp tear drop cloud, and made rained suddenly, it seems like God himself is creating this to mourn over his fallen snow angel. Once night had settled in, the rain had stopped, as the tear drop cloud had gone. 'Strange.' I thought and walked towards my room, with a new found goal to cheer up anyone that needed it.

. . .

 _Moyashi . . . it's your birthday today, what would he like? I don't know, I think I will just give him a lotus flower and some Mitarashi Dango as well. No doubt that everyone else will come during different parts of the day._

"11:44? It's time for me to go and get ready, I did promise that I will celebrate his birthday with him if he would shut up . . . even though it was before he died. That does not matter though, I still have to keep my promise for him." 11:48, time to go to his grave. I walked out of the Order with a lotus flower in hand, and a plate Mitarashi Dango I made myself. 11:53, I walked a bit faster, causing my breath to create a heavier mist and making the snowflakes land on my body and sting my faces with their coldness. 11:57, good.

Allen's grave was made out of a deep set of blue Tanzanite, and was made to look like him, with his arms wide open and smiling, they made his eyes out of a blueish-greyish Zircon, and his angelic wings out of Topaz. They made the statue out of the birth gems in his month, to show their respect for the brave deceased soul that they had loved. To protect the fragile gems, they covered it in a special wrapping where it could not be weathered down, but still be out in the elements. What was strange about it, was that sometimes the statue would warm when certain people would touch it, Kanda, Leenalee, Krory, Lavi, Komui, Miranda and many others that Allen called 'friend', but people like Malcom and Link would say that it was freezing cold, even though they touched the statue in the middle of Summer. The science department always tried to get a heat signature, but it always showed that it was the same temperature, even if Leenalee touched it and said it was warm.

Back to the point, I stared at Allen's forever still face, hoping that it would start to move and talk, like nothing had ever happened. Of course that NEVER happened, what a fool I was to believe that. As I looked in the eyes of the statue, water came down, like it was crying.

"Why do you cry? You have nothing to cry for, everyone is just fine, or are you crying because I remembered the promise?" I looked at it, letting my gaze brush over the face that was made to resemble Allen. I set the flower down, and settled the Mitarashi Dango next to the flower.

"I miss you Allen Walker, everyone does, and we are still trying to cope with your loss. Everyone considered you as their brother or close friend here. Just because your dead doesn't mean that I can't be mad at you, you know." I sighed, stood up and reached out for the statue, brushing my hand against its cheek. Huh? I thought I say the statue smile, I must have sleep deprivation getting to me. I was brought back to reality as I heard footsteps behind me. The owner of them started to run to me, for some reason I could not move. The person, when upon reaching me, wrapped their arms around me, when I looked down I saw that there was no one there. Confused, I looked behind me and saw that there was no one there. I knew who it was, since a clock had just chimed 12 times.

"Thank you Kanda, tell everyone I said hi, and am sorry for causing them pain." I just nodded, not being able to bring myself to say 'Yes, Allen, don't worry, I will' to Allen. He just laughed.

"Bye, Moyashi."

"MY NAME IS ALLEN, BAKANDA!" I just left, with my back towards him.

"You better like your presents, I made and grew them myself you know!" I hid my smile as I heard a muffled 'It's good Bakanda!', then turned my head towards the statue again. There was only one set of footprints, and the Mitarashi Dango was eaten. I went inside and, whenever I told the rest of my small group of trustworthy friends what Allen told me to say.

"Happy Birthday, Baka Moyashi."


End file.
